Catmas carols

Apparently drunk on tea and manic creativity, I just flooded Twitter and FB with Catmas carols.

In case anyone wants to see the whole bunch, I'm copying them here.

And I'm going to stop now, because I don't want to tell my copyediting client he's not getting his manuscript back tomorrow.

Kitten purrs, kitten purrs/Purring all the way/Oh what joy it is to hear a kitten purr today, hey! #catmascarols #jinglekittens

Kitten purrs, kitten purrs/It’s purring time by the heater/Purr and purr/Hear them purr/Soon it will be Catmas Day. #catmascarols #silvercats

O holy cats, the kittens are a-purring/It is the night of the sweet kitten’s purr…/Fall on your knees! Oh, give the kitten scritchies! #catmascarols #oholycats

God rest ye merry, gentlecats/Let nothing you dismay/Remember Bast, our Savior/Looks over us this day. #catmascarols #merrygentlecats

O come all ye kittens/Joyful and purricious/O come ye, o come ye/To eat gooshy food. #catmascarols #comeallyekittens

We three cats who rule your house are/Bearing gifts we traverse afar/Couch to armchair/Your fav’rite rug there/A hairball inside your boudoir. #catmascarols #wethreecats

We wish you a Merry Catmas, we wish you a Merry Catmas, we wish you a Merry Catmas, and a Treat—filled New Year! #catmascarols #merrycatmas

Do you hear what I hear?/A cat, a cat/Purring by the fire/With a sound as big as a lion. #catmascarols #doyouhearacatpurr

Last Catmas, I gave you a mouse/The very next day, you threw it away/This year, to save me from tears/I’ll give you a squishy hairball. #catmascarols #lastcatmas

Feed the cats/Let them know it’s Catmastime. #catmascarols #feedthecats #catcharitysongs #cataid

12 bowls of wet food/11 laps to sit on/10 catnip treats/9 laser pointers/8 beds to nap in/7 fish a-swimming/6 turkey drumsticks/5 HOURS OF SCRITCHIES/4 feather toys/3 paper bags/2 mouse-shaped things/and a pardon for climbing up the Yule treeeee #catmascarols #12daysofcatmas

Edit: I'm adding everyone's offerings as I see them!

Oh catmas tree oh catmas tree, with branches made of catnip, your shiney bells to me foretells, tumbling through and backflip.... (Vicki-Marie Petrick)

~~~

Away in a catbox I don't use my beds
This sweet little kitty digs, spatters and shreds,
The season's for giving and so I will leave
Turds, birdies, and dead mice for you to receive.

The humans are moaning, they say it's a mess
But these are the gifts that I proudly profess
And you'd better like it or you'll get instead
Some cat barf and hairballs right smack in your bed.

(Meg Burns)

Put some Sexy in Your Stocking!

From the naughty minds of three of today’s top erotica authors—Andrea Dale, Sophie Mouette, & Teresa Noelle Roberts—comes a collection filled with winter holiday delights!

• The Queen of Christmas
• Frozen
• On the Twelfth Day
• Let It Snow
• Santa Claus is Comin’
• Mrs. Claus and the Naughty Elf
• Christmas Blizzard
• Happy Krampusnacht
• Running Away From Christmas
• A Bird in the Hand
• Bringing Back the Light
• Hidden Treasure

So curl up in front of a roaring fire, sip some eggnog, and tell Santa that on Christmas morning, you want to find something…Sexy in Your Stocking!

Order from Amazon

Order from Powell’s (coming soon!)

Order from Barnes & Noble (coming soon!)

Also available in ebook format:

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Smashwords

The holidaze

On Christmas Day we slept in, which nixed our plans of seeing an early show of The Hobbit, which we still have not seen. (I clutch my geek crown against my head and stubbornly refuse to let go, despite the truth.) We ate breakfast, exchanged gifts, as one does. The night before we opened one gift, and mine was a special episode of the British SF comedy show Red Dwarf. I had no idea they were still making episodes. On Christmas Day, I opened my next present and laughed and laughed and laughed: A boxed set of the first eight seasons! And apparently season nine is on order. Goodness. Or “smeg off, you smeghead.”

That afternoon we went to Ken’s dad’s wife’s son’s house (don’t worry, it confuses me, too, sometimes). We go there once a year, descending right about the time a sumptuous buffet dinner is served, and yet they greet us, near strangers, with warmth and hospitality, for which every year I am humbled. They gave us a bottle of merlot, and then Ken’s dad and wife gave us an automated wine bottle opener—once again, I laughed and laughed. They all swear they were not in collusion over this!

We then came home, watched the Doctor Who Christmas special (I’m liking Oswin/Clara/?? and am intrigued by her possibilities), and fell over.

We got up early this morning to work out with our trainer, although with both of us still being sick, wasn’t the most strenuous she’d ever put us through, but at least we were there and tried. We came home and dove into brunch preparations, as Ken’s brother and wife and three boys, along with Ken’s mom, were headed here for Boxing Day. (Although I’m apparently the only person who calls it Boxing Day, much to everyone else’s confusion.) Steve and Joelle haven’t had the chance to visit us since we moved here eight years ago, so this was quite a treat! We hauled out the china and I realized I had to polish silver (dammit), and we bustled around and thankfully they got a late start so we were able to get everything ready in time.

The menu:

• build-your-own-breakfast-burrito-bar: wraps, scrambled eggs, spicy chicken sausage, hash browns, mushrooms, green onions, green pepper, kalamata olives, cheddar, feta, salsa, sour cream (I hope I’m not forgetting anything…!)
• scones (delicious! made by Ken’s mom) with pomegranate jam and lemon curd and clotted cream
• fruit salad (made by Joelle—so many nummy fruits!)
• mimosas
• bloody marys (nobody had any, which was fine)
• juices
• coffee and tea

I had an amusing moment when we decided mimosas were the drink of the day: I removed the foil and twisty wire bit from the champagne, then turned to fold a kitchen towel to place over the cork (because I know the proper way to open champagne is to hold the towel over the cork and gently twist the bottle). As I was turned away, the cork blew! It bounced off the ceiling, hit me on the head, bounced up again, landed on the floor, and rolled under a cabinet. I confess I shrieked in surprise. But nary a drop was lost, which is the important thing (that, and no light fixtures were damaged, unlike when Ken opens champagne).

The boys had brought their new Christmas bicycles, so the menfolk all rode to the beach (about 3.5 miles away) while I tried to give the house tour to Joelle (and Mom, but she’s been here tons of times), but we were drinking mimosas, so it took a little longer than usual.

When we opened presents, I had to laugh again—apparently the theme of this holiday was food and cooking and whatnot. Steve & Joelle gave us homemade spiced nuts, along with pizza oil and a flatbread pizza crust mix, and Mom gave us glass food storage containers (see my last post! but I overheard Ken suggesting this to her earlier, so…) and a garlic grater and a baked potato bag. (My sister Donna had given us an oil sprayer and a bottle of Carmel Valley oil, and then of course there was the previously mentioned wine and wine bottle opener.)

Eventually they had to head home, and I spent the rest of the evening doing rounds of dishes (lots and lots of my grandmother’s china and Ken’s grandmother’s silver), in between curling up to watch various things with Ken.

Yule 2011 in pictures

Favorite Holiday Songs

A re-post for a few years ago, while I take the time to craft a proper entry!

1. "All I Want," Styx

2. "All I Want For Christmas," uh, the kid from Love Actually (I really need that soundtrack!)

3. "The Chipmunks' Christmas Song," The Chipmunks (stuck in your head yet? hate me yet?)

4. "December Will Be Magic Again," Kate Bush

5. "Dickens’ Dublin," Loreena McKennitt

6. "Do They Know It’s Christmas?" Band Aid

7. "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen," Loreena McKennitt

8. "I Believe in Father Christmas," Greg Lake

9. "Mid Winter’s Night," Blackmore’s Night

10. "Ring Out, Solstice Bells," Jethro Tull

11. "Ring the Bells," Styx

12. "The Twelve Days of Christmas," Bob & Doug McKenzie (and a beer…in a tree!)

13. "Wizards in Winter," Trans-Siberian Orchestra (it inspired my story “The Queen of Christmas”!)