Sneezes, ponders habits

I came down with a cold a week ago—started feeling a little off last Thursday night, and was flattened on Friday, as was Ken. So I ended up taking a couple of unexpected days off, which resulted in me feeling alternately panicky about how behind I was getting, or maudlin because I felt like Lamey McLamerson for not getting things done. (Hey, I never said it was logical inside this brain!)

It reminded me of something Bob Mayer said in the workshop a few weekends ago—that we have to list our successes and achievements. Not the sales and awards, but the day-to-day accomplishments. I have questionable success with that because if there’s a gap, I feel—as I said above—lame and useless. So I also have to retrain my brain to not look at the gaps, but at the days of productivity and things crossed off lists, and feel the warmth of what I got done.

So I’m feeling pretty chuffed right now that I got about 800 words done on the CES story and got the next chunk off to the editor (this client likes to read things in 5K chunks), and scribbled some notes for OOTFP because I finally figured out how to make the transition to the next scene.

I also took Eostre to the vet, did the dishes, made lunch, paid a bill, filed a few things, and answered a bunch of Kingdom Chronicler e-mail. (Ken and I both went to the vet, actually, and he brought dinner home from Versailles because he had an errand in the Valley, and I’m now stinking out my cold with garlic, hah!)

I am not thinking about the swaths of e-mail still in my In Box, or the fact that I haven’t really had time to read Facebook for days (are you all still out there?), or the freelance jobs I still need to apply for, or the other parts of the house that need cleaning, or the Styx concert write-ups for Sarah, or the journal entries yet unwritten, or my website update, or…

::sticks fingers in ears::  Lalalalaladinosaur!

Tonight I shall sleep another Nyquil-drugged sleep of the damned, and then tomorrow I will write more. And get other stuff done. But definitely the writing. Ya’ll hold me to that, okay?

Trying to keep up

IBR Update: This man is going to be the death of me.

Yesterday morning, he got a new back tire in Winnipeg (having already gone through the back tire he put on in Santa Ana on Sunday) and headed west through Canada. He was feeling great; he was ahead of schedule and felt like he had a strong route.

Around 5:30 p.m., I’d noticed on his tracking page that he hadn’t moved recently. He’d sort of been pinging around in the same area. I thought maybe he’d been to a bonus location and then gotten food or ran some errands. I figured once I finished whatever I was working on, I’d give him a call…but he called me. When I asked him how he was, he sounded resigned when he said “Not good.”

The bike was broken. He was pretty sure it was the drive shaft. (To which I replied, “So you don’t want me singing ‘You All Everybody’ anytime soon?”) The nearest dealer was back in Winnepeg. He was looking at buying a cheap bike to finish the rally, although it would mean he’d get only 50% of his total points for switching bikes partway through.

I was devastated. He sounded like he was handling it better than I was!

About four hours later, he called again. He’d ended up borrowing a bike from the friend of a guy who’d stopped to help him (renting it, really, for a fee, plus he was leaving his bike there) and had started back on his way. About 20 km out of town, however, he started second-guessing himself. Maybe it had to do with the shifter (I think), which had broken several times recently. (Don’t quote me on this; I don’t understand any of it!)

So he went back. One of the guys had tools in his truck. The bolted the shifter back on (or whatever), and Ken turned back around and headed out again.

He won’t be able to hit about 10,000 points worth of bonuses, but he’ll still make a solid finish and be able to claim 100% of his points.

I’m en route to Spokane now (LAX to SLC to GEG), but he probably won’t arrive until the wee hours. I don’t believe SLC has wireless access, so I expect I won’t be able to check his progress ‘til I get to the hotel.

Of course, I won’t be able to post this until then, either…

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Written at LAX: Ha ha ha! They finished cleaning the first class cabin so they said those people could board. Of course other people rushed up there, and now they’re standing there looking like the goobers they are.

~ ~ ~

The plane has individual screens and there are even game options! I’m playing a trivia game. I’m currently winning. I guess well. :-) I also lied about my name. For the purposes of this flight, I’m Loreli (there wasn’t room for the final “e”).

~ ~ ~

Free wifi in SLC, FTW! And a plug. I’m very impressed with this airport. Which leads me to…

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IBR Update: He’s heading south out of Edmonton, BC, which is about 11 hours from Spokane. So, yeah, wee hours.

On staying positive

One of my writing mentors, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, has been doing a series of articles in her blog about how to be a freelancer. She’d originally conceived of doing writing a book, but realized that in these difficult times, people needed the information now.

The series is, well, outstanding. Kris has been a freelancer for most of her adult life, and she’s overcome her share of adversity more than once to be a successful, prolific award-winning writer and editor. She’s also not afraid to be honest, candid, and blunt.

So far she’s covered everything from how to set up your office to the various insurance issues you need to consider, but the article that so far has been the most useful to me is about Staying Positive.

You wouldn’t think that would be a hard thing at some stage of the game. Maybe at first, when the rejections pour in, but hey, I’ve sold two novels and 85 or so short stories. Certainly I must dance to the computer every day and the words flow while rainbow-colored sparks shoot out of my fingertips as I type, right?

Yeah. Snort.

Oddly, hearing someone I have respected for a very, very long time (I was a fan of Kris’s work well before I took the Master Class in March 2002, and I still sometimes have awestruck fangirl moments around her—note that above, I called her one of my writing mentors rather than one of my colleagues. I’m working on that. ::gg::) admit to having moments of self-doubt is somehow encouraging to me. I know that sounds weird. It sounds weird to me. But I know I put people I admire and respect up on pedestals, and I’m working on that, too.

One of the things Kris said she does to stay positive really resonated with me: She keeps a desk calendar at hand, and every day writes down the good things that have happened, writing-wise: fan mail, awards, payments, covers, and the like.

I had the perfect blank journal for this already waiting for me. It’s one that Phae bought for me in Lincoln City during one of our workshops there, at a coffee house with wireless Internet that we frequented (before the workshops moved to a hotel with wireless access). On the front it says, “This is the way you slip through into your innermost home: Close your eyes, and…surrender.” Inside are some other similar quotes. On the back it says, “Unfold your own myths.”

How fucking perfect is that?

So with a purple pen I’ve started logging things. Not every day (yet), but as they come in. The glowing thank you from the client calling my first CES story “PERFECT” (yes, in all caps). The nice things Shanna said about me in her blog (and which I at first downplayed in my own head, rather than embracing—I am prolific, dammit, and I have to believe that for it to be true). The recent e-mail I got from an editor about a novel query: She didn’t think it was for her, but rather than just rejecting it, she saw enough merit in it that she “checked with a few of [her] colleagues” and gave me the direct e-mail of another editor who’d like to see it.

I’m even tracking the good writing days, the ones where I hit my goals. No dancing or rainbows, but close enough for me. It’s good to be reminded that some days, the writing does flow. You just have to get out of your own way and let it happen.