Irrational fear and the breaking down of sanity

Dammit, why does CB&TL have free wireless now? I come here to escape the temptations of the Internet!

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I have this urge to run away. Go on a retreat. I wish I had some cottage or cabin where I could gather all my writer friends for a long weekend, to write and read and talk and take long walks. No Internet, no TV, although maybe a DVD player to watch movies while we drink wine and laugh.

I wish I had the money to rent such a place. Of course, the hotel in Oregon is now for just this purpose, but then I’d need the money to fly all my friends there….

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For now, though, I’m sitting here in CB&TL with Sabrina, and I’m writing, and it’s mostly crap but it’s happening. I’m writing the last scene of Ghosted, because I have to write the last scene in order to figure the rest of it out (or figure the beginning out. Or to move ahead. Or something.). Then maybe I’ll write the next-to-last scene, because I don’t know a lot of it, and the only way I’m going to find out is if I write it.

That probably sounds insane to a non-writer, but there you have it.

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Ellenie and I had an extremely productive writing day today! I forgot to note my starting wordcount (in part because I’m trying to get away from worry about exact counts and enjoying the process more), but I think I wrote about 1K. Kinda lame for 3.5 hours of work time, but the important thing is that I broke past my irrational fear of…whatever I was irrationally fearing.

Then, because a mom and her small boy plopped down on the couch next to her while she was working on a love scene, Ellenie suggested we go out for an early supper, which we did at Roxsbury Deli.

I may do some more work tonight, since I’m back to being fired up about it and don’t want to lose that, but first I’m going to do some other bits that need doing (e-mail, etc.) and then I think I’m going to indulge in a celebratory bubble bath. Because, among other things, I’ve realized lately that I need to celebrate the small successes!

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I also stopped stressing about the fact that Ken hasn’t called, because it’s probably due to the fact that he has to buy a new phone charger. He’s set up a tracking device on the motorcycle that occasionally pings my e-mail with a link to a Googlemap that shows me where he is (how cool is that?!), and he was nearly Salt Lake City mid-afternoon today. Since he still had a banquet ticket to the rally he couldn’t run due to the second bike problem (the clutch), he figured he might as well attend, and then continue on to Arkansas. He’ll probably call me from a hotel phone later.